book 19
The Treason of Sir Meliagrance
The Queen's Knights
One May, Queen Guenever went a-Maying in the woods behind Westminster with her usual retinue of ladies-in-waiting and page-boys, plus the Queen's Knights (ten good knights chosen to accompany her, all bearing white shields) when King Bagdemagus' son and Round Table knight Sir Meliagrance attacked with 160 men-at-arms and captured them all, because of his lust for her.
Le Chevalier du Chariot
The queen and her injured knights were taken to Meliagrance's castle, but on the way Guenever told a young boy from her retinue to escape and take her ring to Launcelot, who set off to rescue them all at once. He swam the Thames at Lambeth on his horse, but Meliagrance had left thirty archers behind and they shot his steed, so he killed Meliagrance's woodsman and took his cart instead.
When Launcelot arrived at the castle Meliagrance surrendered immediately, and the queen calmed Launcelot down to avoid further embarassment. Lavaine arrived soon after, following his master, and they all partied.
On the Quiet
That night Launcelot climbed into Guenever's bedroom for a quiet shag, taking care not to wake any of her numerous ladies-in-waiting or the ten injured knights she insisted stay in the room with her. He pulled the iron bars out of her window and replaced them in the morning, but unfortunately he cut his hand and left blood on her pillow, and in the morning Meliagrance saw it and claimed it was from one of the injured knights (or all of them), and that she was... dishonoured !
The Vile Treachery of Sir Meliagrance
Launcelot swore "that this night there lay none of these ten wounded knights with my lady Queen Guenever", so Meliagrance suicidally challenged him to trial by combat in eight days time at Westminster. Then he cunningly dropped his trustful opponent sixty feet down a hidden trap door while no-one was looking and hid the horse Launcelot had borrowed off Lavaine to make it look like he was off adventuring, so Guenever and her retinue all returned to Westminster.
On the eighth day Launcelot escaped by kissing the (fortunately female) jailer, sped to Westminster on a borrowed steed and arrived just in time to take over from Lavaine, who was going to fight Meliagrance to save Guenever from being burned at the stake for treason yet again.
Launcelot vs Meliagrance
Meliagrance instantly surrendered again, and would only fight further if Launcelot removed half his armour and tied one arm behind his back, which Launcelot did and split Meliagrance's slimy head in two anyway.
So Guenever's "honour" was restored and they didn't have to burn her at the stake, for the second time.
Because of the cart-ride Launcelot became known as Le Chevalier du Chariot for a year, during which he had forty adventures, ending with...
The Prodding of Sir Urre
A good knight of Hungary called Sir Urre of the Mount once slew a Spanish earl's son called Sir Alphegus at a tournement in Spain, but received seven great wounds which Alphegus' magical mum cursed to fester for ever, or until the best knight of the world searched them.
Urre's mum, his sister Felelolie and a page then dragged him all round Europe for seven years under two palfreys, until one Pentecost they stumbled across Arthur's court at Carlisle. There Arthur graciously agreed to search Urre's superating gashes followed by all 110 of the 150 knights of the Round Table who were on call and not off having adventures.
86 of them are named by Mallory; all of the famous names so far (including Sir Percivale who already died in Sarras) plus a few new ones such as Sir Bohart le Cure Hardy (yet another of King Arthur's own sons about whom absolutely nothing else is ever said) and Sir Marrok the werewolf.
But it didn't work and Urre continued to bleed and leak puss horribly.
Then Launcelot sauntered in from his year adventuring, posed a bit, played hard to get, but eventually got stuck in and ITS A MIRACLE ! Urre was finally cured.
Arthur held a joust next day to celebrate and Urre and Lavaine won and Arthur made them both Knights of the Round Table so that they could stay forever and worship their hero, Sir Launcelot.
Lavaine married Felelolie, and after that, things were quiet for a while, except for Agravaine who persistently drew attention to Launcelot and Guenever and their endless, treasonal humping.
Retreat to book 18
Move onward to book 20
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