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Much later, his son King Solomon was told by The Holy Ghost about the future Virgin Mary and about how, even later still, the last of his own line would be an exceptional virgin knight. Inspired, his evil but helpful wife comissioned a wonderful boat and re-pommelled his dad's sword with precious jewels, and made a girdle for it with cheap hemp. She also bullied a carpenter into making three spindles from natural red , green and white wood, all cut from a scion of The Tree of Knowledge once rescued by Eve and now growing in Solomon's garden. Then she equipped it with a marvellous bed and imperishable silk sails. The spindles she had fastened to the bed canopy, and the sword and girdle were laid at the foot.
That night angels scribbled on the sword hilt, and on the ship's side wrote the words...
"Thou man that wilt enter within me, beware that thou be full within the faith, for I ne am but Faith and Belief".
And then off sped the empty ship, using its angel-drive...
After starting out in carpentry he moved into religion, and by his early thirties was an illiterate, itinerant rabbi roaming the Middle East preaching the gospel of peace and love until after some local trouble he was crucified outside Jerusalem at the age of thirty-three (AD 33, often referred to as the passion).
Thirty-two years after that (AD 65) Joseph of Aramathie left Jerusalem and went to the city of Sarras near Babylon, where he converted King Evelake to Christianity on the promise that it would help him kill his cousin Tolleme la Feintes. Evelake fought with a specially comissioned white shield with a red cross painted on it and won, and this same shield also miraculously repaired a severed hand on one of his men.
Shortly after that the red cross magically faded away, Joseph set off wandering again, Evelake followed him and they both ended up in Great Britain.
(Around this time (33+40= AD 73 according to book 17) a virtuous hermit called Nacien found Solomon's magic boat near the Isle of Turnance, broke the Sword of David trying to slay a giant, and his brother-in-law King Mordrains repaired it. Leaving the boat Nacien was stabbed in the foot by a phantom sword.)
On his death-bed Joseph re-painted the shield with his last nose-bleed, and prophesied that the only man who would ever bear it safely would be the last of his (and therefore David's) lineage, a good knight named Galahad, and that he should do marvels with it. He also told King Evelake to put the shield wherever the hermit Nacien was to be buried, (which turned out to be the White Abbey)...
"for thither shall that good knight come the fifteenth day after that he shall receive the order of knighthood".
And for centuries, there the shield waited...
Uther laid seige on both, unsuccesfully. Then he asked his pal Sir Ulfius to fetch Merlin, who made a bargain to use his magic to make himself, Uther & Ulfius look like Sir Jordanus, the duke & Sir Brastias respectively. Seeing them leaving Terrabil en route for Tintagil the real duke followed, and was conveniently killed. The three imposters entered Tintagil Castle & Igraine was done by the disguised Uther, who shortly after married her as himself anyway.
Igraine's existing three daughters by the old duke were Margawse, Elaine & Morgan le Fay, who were eventually married off to King Lot of Lothian & Orkney (eventually begetting Gawaine and the other Orkney Knights), King Nentres of Garlot, and King Uriens of the land of Gore respectively.
Two years later Uther fell sick thus prompting his Northern enemies to make battle, but he fought back leading his armies from his horse-drawn sick-bed (Merlin's idea) and drove them off. Then he died anyway, and the land fell into strife for many years.
After mass several tried, but all failed, so the Archbishop called a joust for New Year's Day, so everyone could have a tug.
Next, young Arthur headed for London and his barons, where Merlin popped up again with a cunning plan...
At the tourney all had a merry violent time, until people started to get tired and emotional, at which Arthur and his two new royal pals called home time. Sir Kay the seneschal received the prize for beating up the most frogs, along with Sir Lucas the butler and Griflet the butler's assistant. Sirs Ladinas, Gracian and Placidas (frogs) came second.
After a council of war, Merlin set off to France with King Ban's ring, and Gracian and Placidas, returning with 10,000 horsemen which he hid in the forest of Bedegraine, where the three kings joined them.
The King with the Hundred Knights had a dream of terrible destruction by wind and water, presaging great battle, and two nights later Arthur attacked (his 2nd battle).
By morning 10,000 were dead, but Arthur was still outnumbered so Merlin devised a pincer movement in a nearby wood and a HUGE battle followed, lasting four chapters. Eventually Merlin pointed out that of the original total warring forces of over 60,000, now barely 15,000 remained, so why not call that a result and go home before God got angry? He also predicted that the eleven kings would find their own lands invaded by Saracens and that they would not dare to attack again for at least three years.
Of the many lords who came to do homage to Arthur one was Earl Sanam, and his daughter Lionors. Arthur fancied her, they ended up shagging and the eventual result was Sir Borre, about whom nothing else is ever said.
Then Kings Arthur, Ban and Bors marched off to Cameliard to rescue King Leodegrance from King Rience of North Wales (Arthur's 3rd battle) where Arthur met Leodegrance's daughter Guenever.
Then the two French kings returned home to deal with their own problem, King Claudas, as Merlin made the remarkably detailed prediction that they would not need to visit Britain again, but that Arthur would soon visit them and destroy their enemies, and that all of the eleven kings would die in a day at the hands of two knights - Sirs Balin le Savage and his brother Balan. Meanwhile the eleven defeated kings returned to the city of Sorhaute in the land of Gore to discuss the Saracen problem, carve up Cornwall, Wales and the North between them, and plot revenge.
After an unsettling dream Arthur went hunting unsuccessfully after the traditional Celtic otherworldly hart, and saw The Questing (barking) Beast drink from a well to quieten its tummy rumbles, pursued by King Pellinore, who stole his horse.
There Merlin turned up disguised as a fourteen year-old, and then as an eighty year-old, and finally stopped fooling around and told Arthur the whole truth of his lineage and who his dad was, and how his recent foul deed of incest would one day destroy him and his realm. Then they all rode home to Carlion.
Then twelve old knights arrived from Rome demanding truage, but Arthur told them piss off.
After recuperating with a hermit for three days, the swordless Arthur was taken by Merlin on a special quest...
Riding home, Merlin made several predictions regarding Pellinore's future worth to Arthur, whilst clouding Pellinore's mind for safety as they rode past, and also explained how the scabbard was greater than the sword, for it protected the wearer against all loss of blood.
Then one day Merlin told Arthur that the enemy who would one day destroy him had been born on Beltayne (May 1st), so Arthur sent for every noble child with that birthday. The ship carrying the Northern children foundered, and all died save young Mordred, who was rescued by a good man who looked after him for the next 14 years...
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